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Winds of Change

Photo by Darius Krause on Pexels.com

“Mira.” My grandmother would point up to the sky as she took her last few smokes of her Salems; “Va hacer aire.” I must have been about 6 or 7 years old but I can remember looking up and seeing these oddly formed clouds; broken up pieces scattered all over the sky. Some looked smeared, as if someone had spilled water while they were painting them. Dicho y hecho, there was wind later that day. I always thought my grandma was a bruja cause how did you she know it was going to be windy that day? The weather people hadn’t forecasted it, but somehow, she knew how to read the skies.

Today as I was putting clothes away, I could hear the wind outside my window. It had been windy all day, but the evening wind felt different. There weren’t any clouds today, which made the winds even more surprising, but still I welcomed them. As a child, I remember my classmates being afraid of windy days at school. I remember the chaos; balls going all over the place, trash cans being tipped over, smaller kids being dragged (I was one of them). Even so, I was always so intrigued by its strength and ability to move and even destroy things. As an Air sign myself, it made sense that wind was something I was so fascinated by.

I have also come to realize that wind speaks, especially at night. You can hear it howling and rumbling. At times, you can also hear it whisper. Ancestral knowledge teaches us that every element is a wise teacher, if only we slow down enough to listen. The difficult part is that our modern human ears will fail us at this task. The Spiritual teachers speak to us from the Spiritual realm and sometimes logic is not part of that equation. In order to communicate with these Great Wisdoms Keepers, we must detach from our earthly worries and egotistic drives. We must remember our interconnectedness with our element relatives and our Great Mother. We must trust that we have also been gifted the ability to communicate with the Spiritual Realm. Sadly, the effects of trauma, colonization and capitalism keep so many of us severed from this connection. It feels almost impossible to find it and so many of us were not taught the “old ways.” Or so it seems.

My grandmother was a chain smoker, but she was frugal. She made a pack of cigarettes last her at least several days to a week. She achieved this by breaking each cigarette in half, which doubled her supply. Every morning, before her café con pan, she would put on her mandil and smoke her first half. As I got older, I would catch a glimpse of her standing on our porch, looking out with her stoic demeanor. She would have one hand in her pocket and the other taking what appeared about 3-5 hits from her cigarette before she would drop it to the floor and step on it. Now looking back, I realize that this was her morning ritual. This was her offering to the day. I believe that she was also listening to hear if her petitions had been answered from her prayers the night before.

A devout catholic woman, my grandmother prayed her rosary almost every night. She taught my siblings and I how to pray; on our knees for about 30 minutes every night. Thankfully this didn’t last long as my parents intervened. After that, she would have us pray for about 5 minutes every night. At the time, it was torture, and although I no longer practice Catholicism, I am forever grateful to my grandmother for teaching me the art of prayer. Here is where I found the ability to listen to Spirit, but it took my grandmother’s passing when I was 30 for me to realize this. I know now that she was teaching me the skill of detachment and stillness; of meditation and mindfulness; of listening to hear from a place deep down inside of me.

As I stand in my room doing mis que haceres, I take a moment to listen to the wind. Stillness and chaos; cycles ending; cycles beginning; death and rebirth; grief and hope. I then remember reading somewhere that suggests to shake your indoor plants to mimic wind as this helps to stimulate growth and strengthen their roots. Ha! If that isn’t a metaphor for trusting ourselves to withstand the unexpected challenges of life. Instructions received.

As I reflect on the message of the Wind Wisdom keeper, I look back on how my grandmother knew that the winds of change were coming; maybe she learned to read the sky patterns because she understood her interconnectedness to the elements. Maybe she never directly told me, “I am teaching you to listen to the Elders,” but now over a decade since her passing, I sometimes see those same cloud formations in the sky and say out loud, even when no one is around, “Va hacer aire.”

© 2022; Adriana L. Medrano, PhD.
All rights reserved.
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Rage & El Llanto as Medicine

I THINK OF how many times my rage actually protected me—how it was there to inform me that I needed to protect myself. I reflect on my chamaca self (my younger self) and how anger and rage sustained me during that stage of my life.

As seen in Ofrenda Magazine
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El Señor Colibri

Photo by Adriana L. Medrano

I heard it in the distance; a faint “chiflido” as my grandmother would call it. A whistling that came from above. Then something caught my eye; un colibri (a hummingbird). It was diving at what appeared to be a hundred miles a minute and then swoop! up before completely nose diving into the ground. I was mesmerized by this little creature giving this beautiful yet dangerous show. I later researched and found out that hummingbirds do these death defying nosedives as a mating call. How courageous love makes one, que no?

In the mist of the chaos that was 2020, I decided to find refuge in the natural world. I would wake up (or be woken up by my husky) and we would both go to the front yard to say good morning to all the living creatures. It has become our ritual now. I say good morning to grandmother ruda, el limon, los chiles, la yerbabuena and so forth. Unable to be physically in community has been devastating, but it has also allowed me the opportunity to create a community with other beings. It has reminded me to slow down and listen a little harder to the lessons of the natural world, but it has not been easy. There are mornings that I rush out there and I am not in a good place. I can almost hear the beautiful white rosales telling me, “No te pongas tan triste mija; todo estará bien.” Or el piquín telling me, “No te agüites homegirl. We got you.” Even in the middle of winter, there have been a time or 2 that I’ve been visited by my abuelita in butterfly form. I know it’s her because I always see them when I am at my lowest.

And then you have El Señor Colibri. So damper with his bright iridescent feathers, going from flower to flower to sugar water. Son traviesos, but in a good way and they be having me laughing at times! How many times has my spirit needed these tiny aviators con sus maromas and majestic colors. Colibris are also symbolic of joy and rebirth which is the exact medicine I didn’t know I was in need of.

We are now entering 2021, but as we know, the natural world does not follow the Gregorian New Year. We are still in the Winter months and that means slowing down and going within. That means connection to the Spirit world and lessons from the stillness our bodies keep craving. That means parts of us dying, letting go and making room for the energy of the months ahead. To honor and make space for the cycle of birth, death & rebirth to take place. To allow the lessons of the natural world shape us, form us and inform us. So that we may soar, love, and spread joy, much like El Señor Colibri does so beautifully, courageously and effortlessly.

© 2021; Adriana L. Medrano, PhD.
All rights reserved.